It's like lightening crashing through the sky, a large amount of electricity (electric energy; thought) pushing apart molecules (People).

I never have enough time to write. In terms of the amount of time I spend thinking in comparision to writing? The writing doesn't add up to 1 percent of my conscious awareness. I've always wanted someone to record my thoughts, to be the stenographer of my consciousness. They could write down every word, every sentence, every thought.. Leave out the socially unacceptable ones, selfish ones, the judging and jealous ones. Eugene Ionesco once wrote "Ideologies seperate us dreams and anguish bring us together." ... Maybe sometimes dreams and anguish seperate people as well. I look at my family and wonder sometimes whether it is the selfishness that burdens our relationships or merely our individual pains. Does a selfish dream ruin a marriage? Does the anguish of being apart push people further from one another? ... Dear Eugene... Did you ever wonder what people with the same ideals could achieve? Forever and a day, forever and a google and a millium?

What is it that makes humans seperate? Is it the pressure? It's like lightening crashing through the sky, a large amount of electricity (electric energy; thought) pushing apart molecules (People).

I don't think it is purely ideology. I think it is nothing but decision to respect or disrespect. To empathize or to be egocentric.

I've pushed some away... and I'll always keep them at arms distance. Perhaps because we do not share the same dreams or personal anguish but also because I cannot respect or empathize as I have hardened to you and I have been able to become desensitized by your lack of emotionality and compassion. It makes me sound like I am intellectuallizing my relationships, friendships, burdens... And I am. But I am human and I also have the right to rationalize my thoughts. Although I may cry in the arms of my lover and my family members, my friends and my pets I will also smile knowing the ones that matter will always be there, for they are truely meant to be with me, and its not simply because we have common dreams or anguish. But because we empathize and respect one another. And that's what makes life so GODDAMN beautiful.