The discontented Associate and The Illusion of Insanity

I want to write you a story, of the words that could pour like a fountain of unending constancy. The vague unraveling of sanity is the plague of society and is one of the only diseases that inevitably will find its end in communication. The depression of the mind, the slowing of the inner workings, the movement of electrical charge. The dull jump from one synapse to the next. The fallen and the wrath of the slumber in sadness. Can it be avoided, evaded or escaped? Can it be cured?

This is a story about a woman encapsulated.

She stands, her feet fixed to a lifted box. Unable to move. She's been placed on the pedestal by men and her creator. Her eyes directed towards the door constantly watching the spectators. She waits each day to see the growing crack between the doors as the light, the snow, the leaves, and the rain flutter in from the place she has heard the spectators call it, the outside. She lays monetary, unable to move, constantly thinking. As the spectators pace by, her mind paces. She wonders what they think of her architecture, her composition, the crooks made by her creator. She wonders what they experience outside of her home, outside of the walls, outside of the dusty rafters.

Every night the lights go out and her eyes scan the room, the paintings change the general composure of the room remains the same, she still stays planted.
She used to be jealous of those that were able to walk, to see the world from a spectrum of more than her simple peripheral shawl. But she got to a point were she began to see everything in monochromatics. Her eyes became expired to the beauty of the old, dark, semi-glossed and shoe scathed floor and the adjacent door outlined in sidelites composed of green glass recycled from old wine bottles

The internalized isolation that is beauty.

TO BE CONTINUED.

I miss you
I miss you before depression
I miss you before him
I miss you before them
I miss you before I could help
I miss you as much as I miss myself..
I love you
I love you before depression
I love you before him
I love you before them
I love you before I could help
I love you as much as I love myself..
I wish I could help
I wish I could help before the depression
I wish I could help before him
I wish I could help before them
I wish I could help
...
I FUCKIN WISH I COULD HELP

I was given the best older sister in the entire world, entire universe. I wish I could show her how beautiful, worthwhile and amazing she is...
But depression is a drug that encompasses many and takes few.
Please don't say goodbye I love you

Love always
Yer little brat
Cecilia

Lyrics

The words that revirbiate through me.

Those lyrics that remind me of the good times,

"Sugarrr"

The Lyrics that remind me of the bad times

"I can't take it any longer, thought that I was stronger"

The Lyrics that kept me strong

"These little black sandles are walking me away"

The Lyrics that forced me to lust

"I just need a little of your time"

The Lyrics that made me realise I was missing something

"It's not easy making a name for yourself, when do you draw the line, I never thought I'd be this far, Try not to miss me when I'm gone"

The lyrics that made me grow up

"I wanna live again, I want to start everything over again"

The Lyrics that made me fall for you

"Holding my breath walking alone with you, I get to hear your voice again, if this is a dream, will you stay with me? Please stay with me, Please stay with me"


The Lyrics that made me hate me

"There is a war inside of me... I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me"

Lyrics that make me think

"Is every thing, a baited hook, are there locks on all doors, if you're looking for an open book I am yours."

Lyrics that make me Happy

"I want to start a revolution, a kind of personal solution, we all got our own pollution, its all about the execution.. don't it feel good don't it feel hot, feel the fire within, I wanna see you strut"

Lyrics that make me envision my future

"Love me, tender, love me sweet, never let me go. You have made my life complete and I love you so. Love me, tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled. For my darling I love you, and I always will."


Lyrics that make me feel badass

"So many dreams that I'm chasing, so many fuckers are hatin"

Lyrics that made me leave
"Just think about it, lately I've been skeptical silent when I used to speak, Distant from all that around me... I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down.... Your disposition I'll remember when I'm letting go, of you and me, we through, and REarranged. Think about it"

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Because there is beauty in the breakdown

Nothing is Impossible, it only spells "I'm Possible"