I'm thankful I never killed myself.

I'm thankful I never killed myself. I can't help but think of the people that would have missed me; the people I never met who would have missed me. The changes I wouldn't have made, and the lives I wouldn't have saved. I'm thankful I never killed myself, because today I've never been so alive. I'm reminded of the things that hold me here, the words I repeat in my head when I'm sick. When I'm sick and tired of living. I remind myself that I am never handed something I can't handle. I remind myself that sometimes it's not the fault of the people who surround me, who can't handle me. Because a person who is depressed, a person who wants to let go is tiring. And sick. And they are sick of being tired. 

I'm thankful I never killed myself. I'm thankful I've seen the sunset so many more times than I ever would have imagined the beauty of. I'm thankful the stars have shined over me, and reminded me, that in life, there is hope that glimmers like them. I'm thankful that I've let tears fall from my cheek in sorrow and in love. I'm thankful that I have loved and I have lost, and I'm thankful to just be alive.

I'm thankful I never killed myself, because I'd rather see the face of my family happy, than never see them again and know that they are always internally crying. I'm thankful for the pain I've felt and the strength that creeped up inside me along the way. 

I'm thankful I never killed myself. And Selfishly I'm thankful that I never gave up and submitted to the grave, because I've learned that I belong here, that I belong a life because... I GOD DAMN DESERVE TO BE HERE! And so do you. I'm thankful I never killed myself, so that I could remind you not to. 

I'm thankful I never killed myself, because I couldn't imagine leaving people with this feeling: 

Jared Singer: "A letter to Sarah"